Worst Reads 2011

If there’s a best there’s got to be a worst, right?  Well here they are in all their warty glory.  Links lead to my full reviews if you really want the gory details.

1. The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (1997)
Surreal fantasy choked with the most annoying characters ever, written by an author stuck in adolescence and still fascinated by wet dreams.  The completely nonsensical plot is supposed to be all allegorical, but it tries to jam so many literary themes into the pot that it comes off as pathetic and lacking in vision.  Like the writer had a million ideas and no patience so he threw them all in at once.  Also it was really forced in terms of trying to shock the reader and after a while that fell totally flat.  Sorry Mr. Murakami, you fooled me once, never again.

2. Gideon’s Sword by Lincoln Child and Douglas Preston (2011)
Disappointing isn’t strong enough a word, but it will do.  Character development is non-existent.  Instead they drop Gideon into the story fully-formed, like Athena from the head of Zeus.  I didn’t buy it.  There was too much telling and too little showing.  Everything seemed to happen without effort and without me believing this guy could come even close to pulling off the stuff he does.  Ugh. I really hope the suckfest doesn’t drift over into the Pendergast books.

3. Defensive Wounds by Lisa Black (2011)
I like my thrillers more thrilling than this one was.  Testosterone-driven plots are at least exciting even if they might not be too plausible.  This one was estrogen-soaked and the main character had a poor-poor-pitiful thing going all the time.  That and her mother-hen fixation made me roll my eyes enough to ache.  Then there was a cast of characters, some family, that just didn’t gel into a team whatsoever.  Boring, boring, boring.

4. In the Shadow of Gotham by Stefanie Pintoff (2009)
Put a basically dull and unlikely cop into a derivative novel with pretty stupid ‘smart’ men and what do you have?  A snore-fest that lacks heart and with a plot the reader can easily figure out before the supposed geniuses in the novel do.  If you liked The Alienist and think this is going to be just as good because it’s constantly compared to it; don’t bother.  Re-read Carr’s masterpiece instead.

5. Star Island by Carl Hiaasen (2011)
Even Skink couldn’t save this mess of an uninspired book.  It had potential, but I think Hiaasen is bored by his own outlandish shenanigans.  Compared to Stormy Weather and Tourist Season, this is a yawn fesitval of overblown characters, weak plot and little humor.  And Chemo...did we really need him back?